at least i can admit i’m a piece of shit



one of the biggest problems in life is understanding when it is acceptable to get iced coffee and when it isn’t 


do you have that one person that you can’t look at when your trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute

what do you mean you don’t know your wifi password?
me to someone who doesn’t know their wifi password (via zackisontumblr)


Dumbledore: “and with 350 points Slytherin wins the house cup

But I have a few extra points to give out

500 points to Dumbledore for being the best headmaster”

*house flags all change to Dumbledore’s face*


healthy snack in under 1 minute!

  1. buy organic apple
  2. take “organic” sticker off of apple
  3. throw out apple
  4. place sticker on box of oreo™ cookies


everything always happens so much


i dont trust people who dont let their dogs or cats on the furniture u are mean u are cold hearted



what would jesus do with that big fat butt


My little brother and I were swimming and my dad walked out and said “it’s trash day tomorrow you know what that means” and my brother looked at me dead in the eyes and said “it’s time for you to go.”